things goes wrong...

i think the title already pictured everything bout what was happened in my life recently...
i still able to handle few difficulties but when it affected me on the other side of it, i felt i could do better if i think at first side.....

on 3rd Jan this new year, my beloved brother just get married....i handled a lot of things during the ceremony, he's the groom, so i know he counted on me on everything...from the hall to the bedroom...sewing the curtain until prepared the 'hantaran'....(pictures will upload later)...

but this is not what im trying to write under this title....
actually i also unable to find out what is exactly happened to my life recently. Syam did asked me about me behaving cold to him and to most my friends....i dont know...felt like something is just missing....

answering calls everyday doesnt make me become more patient..but totally 500km out of my patient line... I scolded customer when they asked simple questions (which sometimes really STUPID)...

i dont make friends anymore...i've no longer called my bestfriends...

what is wrong with me...?help me out from this....

i'm too tired....

i've tried to be a good daughter but i always felt i will never fulfill my parents needs....they never asked for anything but i always wanted to give them something...i'll never stop trying...
i've tried to be a good person in 'someone's life' but there are always something between us....and i'll never stop trying....
i've tried to be a good friend but never satisfied them....
and now...i'm tired...too tired...

to whom which may concern...
im really tired....
really tired...
if you want me to walked away..just say so...
but dont be a hypocrite...mumbling bout 'beautiful' life with others....

and now..to you..i'll down on my knees ...asking for a favor....
plssss..dont make me hate you....
dont pissed me off....

nikmatnya.....

arini cuti...satu hari tido....
bgn kui 11....gosok gigi....
makan....
tgk "anakku bukan anakku"....while downloading fav songs with my new streamyx...."jom streamyx"....
heheheh....
YM.....
facebook....while singing song by Habibah Yaacob.."malam ini kita berpisah".....
sleep again.....
downloading stuck at Leona Lewis song - better in time.....(stupid!!!)
watching ezora last episod....

....indah dan nikmatnya ari bila cuti....

khas buat BJ6B....2008...

::perjuangan belum selesai::

Sesungguhnya tidak ada yang lebih menyayatkan
dari melihat bangsaku dijajah
Tidak ada yang lebih menyedihkan
dari membiarkan bangsaku dihina

Air mata tiada ertinya
sejarah silam tiada maknanya
sekiranya bangsa tercinta terpinggir
dipersenda dan dilupakan
Bukan kecil langkah wira bangsa
para pejuang kemerdekaan
bagi menegakkan kemuliaan
dan darjat bangsa
selangkah beerti mara
mengharung sejuta dugaan

Biarkan bertatih
asalkan langkah itu yakin dan cermat
bagi memastikan negara
merdeka dan bangsa terpelihara
air mata sengsara
mengiringi setiap langkah bapa-bapa kita
Tugas kita bukan kecil
kerana mengisi kemrdekaan
rupanya lebih sukar dari bermandi
keringat dan darah menuntutnya
Lagi pula apalah ertinya kemerdekaan
kalau bangsaku asyik mengia dan menidakkan,mengangguk dan membenarkan,
kerana sekalipun bangganya negara
kerana makmur dan mewahnya,
bangsaku masih melata
dan meminta-minta di negaranya sendiri
Bukan kecil tugas kita
meneruskan perjuangan kemerdekaan kita
kerana rupanya selain memerdekakan,
mengisi kemerdekaan itu jauh lebih sengsara

Bangsaku bukan kecil hati dan jiwanya
bukankah sejak zaman berzaman
mereka menjadi pelaut, pengembara
malah penakluk terkemuka?
Bukankah mereka sudah mengembangkan sayap,menjadi pedagang dan peniaga
selain menjadi ulama dan
ilmuan terbilang?

Bukankah bangsaku pernah mengharung
samudera menjajah dunia yang tak dikenal
Bukankah mereka pernah menjadi
wira serantau yang tidak mengenal
erti takut dan kematian?

Di manakah silapnya hingga bangsaku
berasa begitu kecil dan rendah diri?
Apakah angkara penjajah?
Lalu bangsaku mulai
melupakan kegemilangan silam
dan sejarah gemilang membina empayar
Tugas kita belum selesai rupanya
bagi memartabat dan
memuliakan bangsa
kerana hanya bangsa yang berjaya
akan sentiasa dihormati
Rupanya masih jauh dan berliku jalan kita
bukan sekadar memerdeka dan mengisinya
tetapi mengangkat darjat dan kemuliaan
buat selama-lamanya

Hari ini, jalan ini pasti semakin berliku
kerana masa depan belum tentu
menjanjikan syurga
bagi mereka yang lemah dan mudah kecewa
Perjuangan kita belum selesai
kerana hanya yang cekal dan tabah
dapat membina mercu tanda
bangsanya yang berjaya

p/s: I always cry whenever I read about this poem...

does it stated for real?....

More or less, I haven't wrote anythin' since a month ago.... nothin' could be more important than bloging while visiting to my buddies' blog.......

Well, i received quite a few no of msg regarding sodomy case against Malaysian ex-deputy PM, about his explanation and the journey he had to face all the while....

I have my own opinion about this case which I also discussed it with few friends and officemates, but then I have to keep the result of the conversation to myself due to not harm any party.

The thing that happened was so fast....I still remember, when I was in 'the publication', DSAI were still celebrating for their unexpected victory.....It wasn't long ago.....after the general election fever, continued with 'oilgate'.....then this..

what I need is...someone to help me out from this.....
someone who could tell me the truth....
who is the someone?......is he/she exist?.......Only Allah knows who......

miss to blogging so much.....

I haven't update anything for quite sometime..why?...coz i'm too focusing on my diary...